Please Don’t Leave Me!

  

Quotation

 

“It seems crazy we would actually fear to take up the cross, when doing so, will win us an eternal relationship with God in heaven.”

 

Barry Denzil Haney

 

Verse

 

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

 

Joshua 1:9

 

Reflection

 

Please don’t leave me!

 

Recently my daughter shared with my wife and I a childhood memory. Whenever her mom dropped her off at preschool, she would become very anxious and worried she would not come back to pick her up. Although her mom always picked her up, this fear went on for weeks. Although this can be natural because children become attached to their parents from birth, if excessive may lead to abandonment issues causing long-term mental health issues.

 

What causes abandonment issues?

 

Abandonment issues affect many in today’s world. Humans need to know their physical and emotional needs are met. In today’s secular world, many events may arise in a person’s life which may cause them to feel rejected, sometimes leading to serious anxiety and emotional distress. The events can occur at any age and include death, abuse, poverty and relationship loss.

 

In the article, “Abandonment Issues: Symptoms and Signs”, Dan Brennan, MD discusses types of abandonment issues:

 

Avoidant Attachment Style

 

People who follow this style don’t allow anyone to get close to them. You may feel like you can’t open up or trust others, making you appear distant, private, or withdrawn. 

 

Anxious Attachment Style

 

People with this type of attachment style cope by developing intensely close and dependent relationships with others. You may feel anxious about separating yourself from your partner and tend to be emotionally reactive. It may be easy to see conflicts as a concern that your partner may leave, which makes you act out of fear. 

 

Disorganized Attachment Style

 

People with this attachment style have difficulty remaining intimate and close but can also be inconsistent. You may feel anxious about being in a relationship or want to avoid the closeness. This attachment style may come with other potential disorders. 

 

He goes on to list the following common signs of abandonment issues:

 

·       Giving too much or being overly eager to please

·       Jealousy in your relationship or of others

·       Trouble trusting your partner’s intentions

·       Feeling insecure about your relationship

·       Having difficulty in feeling intimate emotionally

·       Needing to control or be controlled by your partner

·       Settling in unsatisfactory relationships¹

 

What does God say about abandonment? 

 

In Deuteronomy 31:6, God tells us he will always be with us and never abandon us:

 

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

 

This is a powerful promise from God. We are created by God to have a loving relationship with Him. Because of sin, we are separated from Him. This causes us to seek affection from other earthly sources. This often leads to abandonment issues.

 

From a biblical worldview, what can you do to heal your abandonment issues?

 

Meditating on God’s word can help you heal if you suffer from abandonment issues. Because abandonment issues often times have deep roots, Christian counselling may be helpful to identify the origins of your issues, allowing you to overcome your fear of abandonment.

 

When we have a personal relationship with Jesus, we will begin a loving relationship with God. We will no longer require affection from worldly sources. Abandonment issues will disappear!

 

Illustration

 

Child’s Need of Affection

 

Salimbene, a thirteenth-century historian, wrote this about the attempt of King Frederick II to raise children without maternal affection: “He wanted to find out what kind of speech children would have when they grew up if they spoke to no one beforehand. So he bade foster mothers and nurses to suckle the children, to bathe and wash them but in no way to prattle with them, or to speak to them, for he wanted to learn whether they would speak the Hebrew language, which was the oldest, or Greek, or Latin, or Arabic, or perhaps the language of their parents, of whom they had been born.

 

But he labored in vain, because the children all died. For they could not live without the petting and joyful faces and loving words of their foster mothers.” (Cited in Gary Collins, Fractured Personalities, [Carol Stream, Ill.: Creation House] pp. 35–36.)¹¹⁽²⁾

 

Prayer

 

Our Heavenly Father,

 

Thank you for the promise You will always be

with me and You will never abandon me! Thank

you for being the Great Healer, who wants to provide

me comfort, peace and protection from all my fears.

 

Through reading of the Bible, replace any

fear I might have, with Your absolute truth.

Thank you for Your promise that no matter

who has hurt me You will heal me!

 

In the precious name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior,

 

Amen!

 

Worship

 

Then Came The Morning – Guy Penrod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1Q2-sYAo-M

 

 

God Bless You,

Barry

 

 

1“Abandonment Issues: 3 Types of Attachment Styles.” WebMD. WebMD. Accessed April 25, 2021. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/abandonment-issues-symptoms-signs. 

 

2Michael P. Green. 1500 Illustrations for Biblical Preaching. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2000. Print.