Author’s Note
“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”
--Richard Bach
Reflections
Can the eyes be the windows to the soul as stated in a traditional proverb? In the haunting picture above, the old, coyote seems to be conveying this truth as he gazes into the eyes of my brother Clay, who took this photo at Muse Hollow. Is the coyote saying goodbye to a friend, searching for a way to communicate with his new friend Clay, he will never see him again, a final goodbye, as he returns into the forest, seeking a place to die!
Humans seem to find it very difficult to say goodbye. “Here’s looking at you kid”, the unforgettable words Humphrey Bogart utters to Ingrid Bergman in the 1942 film classic Casablanca, as he stares into her eyes and touches her face, was how Hollywood imagined the way to say goodbye. But in many cultures, it might be considered unpleasant or impolite to look into someone eyes. But the coronavirus pandemic may be changing this, forcing people all over the world to look into each other’s eyes, searching for clues to the other persons emotions.
Researchers have shown a plethora of neurological changes in the brain when we are forced to say goodbye, involving several regions of the brain including the nucleus ambiguous, the limbic system and prefrontal cortex. It seems we are wired to suffer grief, sadness, and a whole range of emotions and other symptoms including disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue, and anxiety.
This poignant quote taken from A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, gives us a glimpse into how C. S Lewis handled the difficulty in saying goodbye to others:
“Lewis said that he hoped Davy and I would come back to England soon, for we mustn’t get out of touch. ‘At all events he said with a cheerful grin, “we’ll certainly meet again, here—or there.’
Then it was time to go, we drained our mugs. When we emerged onto the busy highway with the traffic streaming past, we shook hands, and he said ‘I shan’t say goodbye. We will meet again.’ Then he plunged into the traffic. I stood there watching him. When he reached the pavement of the other side, he turned around as though we knew somehow that I would still be standing in front of the Eastgate.
Then he raised his voice in a great roar that easily overcame the noise of the cars and buses. Heads turned and at least one car swerved.
‘Besides,’ he bellowed with a great grin, “Christians NEVER say goodbye!’”
How do people with a religious or spiritual worldview say goodbye? Jeremiah Rankin, a Congregationalist, approached this by writing, January 2, 1928, the hymn “God Be with You till We Meet Again.” For many saying goodbye raises all kinds of painful uncertainties. These painful uncertainties lead to the emotion of grief.
One of the hardest things each of us will probably face at some point in life is saying goodbye to a loved one. Even if the person dying has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and will spend an eternity in heaven with the creator God, it can still be difficult to let them go. Trust in the Lord and let your loved one know it is okay to leave. There are many consoling verses in the Bible that offer assurance and hope during this time of permanent separation. It is okay to say goodbye!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 NIV)
Silent Prayer
Creator God, guide us as we say goodbye and enter a new beginning!
Music
This is Not Goodbye by the Sidewalk Prophets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqaXXxp2GgE
Lyrics
I can see it in your eyes that you are restlessThe time has come for you to leaveIt's so hard to let you goBut in this life I know you have to be who you were made to be
As you step out on the road I'll say a prayerSo that in my heart you always will be there
This is not goodbyeI know we'll meet againSo let your life begin'Cause this is not goodbyeIt's just "I love you" to take with youUntil you're home again
The stirring in your soul has left you wonderingShould you stay or turn aroundWell, just remember that your dreams they are a promiseThat you were made to change the worldSo don't let fear stop you now, 'cause
This is not goodbyeI know we'll meet againSo let your life begin'Cause this is not goodbyeIt's just "I love you" to take with youUntil you're home again
Oh-oh-ohI know the brightest star aboveWas created by the one who lovedMore than we'll ever knowTo guide you when you're lost
What started as a still, small voiceIs raging now and your only choiceIs to follow who you areSo follow who you are, 'cause
This is not goodbyeI know we'll meet againOh
This is not goodbyeI know we'll meet againSo let your life begin'Cause this is not goodbyeIt's just "I love you" to take with youUntil you're homeIt is "I love you" to take with youUntil you're homeIt is "I love you" to take with youUntil you're home again
Have a great day!
Barry
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