But You Promised Me A Rose Garden

Quotation

 

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”

 

--Dale Carnegie

 

Reflection

 

“But honey, I never promised you a rose garden, but there have been some roses along the way!” My wife paused, and then replied “Yeah, there have been some roses along the way, but I’ve had to traverse a very thorny briar to reach the occasional rose you have offered me!”

 

Ouch, that hurt, but in all honesty, a true statement of fact.  So many of us are so wrapped up in trying to negotiate the chaos of daily living threatening to devour us, we forget to enjoy the “roses blooming outside our windows”.

 

In today’s topsy, turvy, chaotic world, many of us are just trying to survive from day to day, often feeling like we are losing our minds trying to cope with the daily insults to our sanity. We “shelter in place”, scared and afraid, waiting for a bright light to guide us back to a more serene, tranquil time and place, we enjoyed in the distant past, located still, somewhere in the “rose garden” buried in the dark recesses of our mind.

 

Could it be, this memory of such a place, a beautiful rose garden where we forever remain happy and carefree, is but an illusion? Are the challenges we face during our journey of life, but mere illusions? I believe the true purpose of life is to discover who we are, how we relate to others, and how we relate to the world around us. We can only discover who we are by interacting with the world around us, learning from our mistakes, and improving based on what we learn. The discovery of self is truly awe-inspiring, if we will just look at the roses at our feet!

        

Petition:

 

Creator God, help me learn to live for today, enjoying the beauty of the world in which I live, actually stopping and smelling the roses at my feet, and experiencing the love all around me!

 

Music:

 

A Rose From Another Garden by Dan Seals

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0FfaNemqkQ

 Barry

Stop Catastrophizing and Get on With Your Life – The Attachment Theory Personified!

Quotation

 “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”

— Leo F. Buscaglia

Reflection

 In the fairy tale based on the original story first collected by Danish librarian Just Mathias Thiele, Chicken Little runs through the farmyard shouting, “The sky is falling!” after an acorn falls on her head. This example of someone catastrophizing is well known to most of us. Can you think of a “Chicken Little” you have met, who always seems to think the worst will happen after they experience actions or events in their life? Does Chicken Little demonstrate to us an insecure attachment style?

 

Attachment theory focuses on relationships and bonds between people, including those between a parent and child and between romantic partners. The British psychologist, John Bowlby, was the first attachment theorist, who described attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings." The word “attachment” in this context means, the emotional bond that forms between infant and caregiver, and it is how the helpless infant gets primary needs met. This attachment provides the infant with a coping mechanism that can be accessed to comfort him during stressful moments that occur in the infant’s life.

 

Today, neuroscientists believe the primal need for attachment creates networks of neurons in the brain dedicated to setting into motion the process of attachment via a hormone called oxytocin. Researchers have identified basic patterns of attachment in children, including secure attachment, anxious-resistant attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment. It has been found that secure attachment tends to occur in children from sensitive, responsive caregiving, whereas the more problematic patterns of attachment from the lack of such caregiving.

 

Attachment styles in adults have similar labels as described in children as follows:

·      Secure

·      Anxious-preoccupied (high anxiety, low avoidance)

·      Dismissing-avoidant (low anxiety, high avoidance)

·      Fearful avoidant (high anxiety, high avoidance)

 

During your lifetime journey, you need to find ways to increase enjoyment in your life. Learning about the attachment effect may help each individual move toward secure attachment. By doing this, we can develop a healthy self-image, learn to treat others with respect, learn to resolve conflict for mutual benefit, become more compassionate, become selfless, become a good neighbor, and become a good, loving, world citizen!

 

Petition:

Creator God, help me discover my attachment style, so I can begin to relate to others in a more sincere and healthy manner, and ultimately, in my journey here on Earth, discover a genuine relationship with my loving, Creator God!

 

Recovery by James Arthur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9DO3zpdWqw

 

Barry