YOldies Oldies Band Amazing Music And Life Journey: Where Are All the Lonely People?

Quotation

“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.”

—Dag Hammarskjold

Reflection

When you hear the phrase, “where are all the lonely people”, what is the first thing that pops into your mind?

For my generation, the song Eleanor Rigby, by the Beatles, is probably the first thing that comes to mind. Just who was Eleanor Rigby, and was she indeed lonely as depicted in the Beatles song?

In a graveyard of Saint Peter’s Church, in Woolton, a suburb of Liverpool, England, the name of Eleanor Rigby is inscribed. Although Paul McCartney said “Eleanor Rigby is a totally fictitious character” when asked about the song’s title, it was at this church, during a church festival, John Lennon and Paul McCartney first met. Paul McCartney later conceded during his many visits to the churchyard, he may have seen the headstone, and the headstone may have influenced him in a subconscious way.

The song Eleanor Rigby was primarily written by Paul McCartney and released in 1966 as part of a double A-side single which also featured Yellow Submarine. The single spent four weeks at number one in the United Kingdom charts and it reached number eleven on the United States charts and was nominated for three Grammys.

The song, Eleanor Rigby, is often described as a lament for the lonely, or a commentary on life in post-war Britain. The song features two characters, a lonely old churchgoing woman who is cleaning up rice after a wedding, and a pastor whose sermons will never be heard, because no one is coming to his church, or he’s afraid the sermons are not being received on a spiritual level by his congregation. Another feature of the song is an apparent swipe at Christianity because “no one was saved”. Interestingly, the song was released just weeks after John Lennon’s remarks, “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now.”

Dan Peek described the song Eleanor Rigby in this way: an “overwhelming picture of the masses of humanity drowning in grey oblivion”. In a response to Eleanor Rigby, Dan Peek released the song Lonely People, through his group America. written within a few weeks of his marriage to Catherine Maberry. This song is more optimistic, telling people who are experiencing loneliness to not give up: “This is for all the lonely people, thinkin’ life has passed them by. Don’t give up until you drink from the silver cup and ride that highway to the sky.”

But you might ask, that is all fine and dandy, but just where are all the lonely people?

Short answer, they are all around us! In a January 2020 survey of 10,000 adults by Cigna, 61% of those surveyed said they felt lonely. Many times, the reason we don’t notice the “Eleanor Rigby’s” and the “Father McKenzie’s” around us, is because we can’t get beyond our first impression. We need to look beyond skin colors, genders, ethnicities, body types, sexual orientations, or any other prejudices we may have, so we can see the “real person”. When a person sense they are not seen for who they are, they become lonely.

Loneliness is defined as “the distressing experience that occurs when one’s social relationships are perceived to be less in quantity, and especially in quality, than desired”. Loneliness be associated with significant psychopathology including depressive symptoms, poor social support, neuroticism, and introversion. A 2021 study published in Lancet Psychiatry found associations between loneliness and depressive symptoms in a group of adults 50 years old and older.¹ Several studies have linked emotional stress with depressed immunity.² Research shows that the areas of the brain that deal with social exclusion are the same areas that process physical pain, adding a scientific explanation to the oft-romanticized experience of a "broken heart."³

Because of these psychological characteristics, loneliness can lead to mental and physical disease, especially in the elderly population, when loneliness increases.

Richard S. Weiss developed a psychological theory of loneliness, in which he identified six functions or needs of social relationships that, if in short supply, contribute to feelings of loneliness and include attachment, social integration, nurturance, reassurance of worth, sense of reliable alliance, and guidance in stressful situations.

Elizabeth Scott, PhD, in her article entitled How to Cope with Loneliness, offers the following tips on how to deal with loneliness:

· Join a Class or Club

· Volunteer

· Find Support Online

· Strengthen Existing Relationships

· Adopt a Pet

· Talk to Strangers

· Practice Self-Care

· Watch episode by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares ways to stay strong even if you feel lonely.

· See a Therapist

Virtually everyone experiences loneliness sometimes in their life. If you suspect someone is lonely, you can help by doing the following: be there; be patient; encourage and support.

Petition:

Creator God, help me find someone or something to live for while here on this Earth!

Music

Eleanor Rigby by Paul McCartney

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weN-l8SOiFU